Most of us speculate in some way about how our lives might have turned out differently "if only.” If you could give advice to your younger self, what would it be? I asked various age groups this same question and their answers were surprising.
When I presented this question to my friend, Emma Adams, a 15-year-old , she said, “I would tell my younger self to be patient and wait for better things to come, and that life is constantly changing. Also, I would tell her to be more observant and listen to the people around her.” She explains that she would give this advice because she would’ve been less hard on herself about her struggles mentally and socially. She was always worried about not having many friends and that she needed to wait out those difficult times and trust in the fact that it wouldn't be like that forever. Emma goes on to add that “I will make good decisions about the people I surround myself with.”
When I asked the question to Samantha Stangl, a 28-year-old chemistry teacher, she responded quickly with “I would have hugged my sister more.” She goes on to explain that her sister was her best friend, and that they grew up extremely close. They shared friends and clothes and even dreams despite their three-year age difference. She was a really passionate person and Ms. Stangl’s favorite memory with her was going on a cruise together with just the two of them, and that was one of the best weeks in her life. She is so grateful for her, especially now that she passed away due to cancer earlier this year.
My dad, Rich Klumpp, told me that he would tell his younger self to “Be happy with what I have, don’t be envious of what other people have. Comparing ourselves makes us look at their strengths and focus on our weaknesses, which leads us down the path of jealousy.” He told me about his own teen life and how he had to work hard for his success compared to people around him and that things were just given to them on a silver platter, whether it was his sister's good grades that came easily for her or things within his job. He’s the hardest working person I know and always strives to improve.
I even asked myself this question. As a 16-year-old Asian American in a biracial family, I struggled with why I didn't look like the rest of my family. I used to feel like I didn't fit in and wish I could have changed my appearance. The advice I would give is to not worry if you look different or feel you look different from other people. Everyone is unique in their own ways, and there is more to yourself than what others see on the surface. I love John Dorian's quote: “Different doesn't mean wrong.” As I grew older I started to learn more about my culture and embrace who I am. To this day I love who I am and am proud of where I am from because our differences are what bring us together.
The fact is that we can’t change our past, so we tend to spend so much time rehashing previous events or overplanning for the future that we lose out on the amazing moments that unfold right before our eyes. Your next moment is not guaranteed, so why not take advantage of the one you are in?